Dreams of marriage, family, marriage visit every girl, regardless of age. «Married - do not attack, the main thing is not married to be married» - says folk wisdom. How to choose a husband to be happy, to have a friendly and strong family, children, relationships with a spouse that will grow stronger every day? What to look for before making a crucial step in life - choosing a future husband?
How to choose a good husband
You need to determine what the concept means to you. «good husband». We are all unique, therefore, the list of requirements for a potential life partner for each woman will be different. One will choose a couch potato husband who prefers to spend time at home, doing household chores, the other - a traveler who sets off without fear for unknown distances. If you are thinking about how to choose a husband, then you cannot do without a clear indication of the selection criteria.
If you are already in a relationship and the man made you an offer, but does not meet the selected criteria, then this is not a reason to part with your lover. Discuss with your future husband your marriage priorities, the changes that you would like to bring to the relationship. A conversation will show how easy it is for you to find mutual understanding. The ability to negotiate, to seek compromises, and ways out of difficult situations is an important component of family relationships in marriage.
Relatives of husband
Want to know how to choose a husband right? During the development of relations with a potential candidate, pay attention to the relationship in the family of the future spouse: how relatives communicate with each other, how close the father and mother are, what family customs, traditions they honor. The nature and habits of a person are laid down from childhood, so the accepted family model of relationships will be in your marriage.
Joint activity allows us to get to know the person better. If possible, talk to members of his family before marriage, for example, organize a family party, as in the photo above, or invite relatives to a joint weekend trip outside the city, during which the nature of the relationship between the close relatives of the potential husband will become clear.
See how men in this family relate to women, what kind of relationship with mom, other relatives they choose. Is there respect, warmth, intimacy, does he neglect family responsibilities, does he help with the housework, and responds to requests for help. In the new family you have to play all the female roles: wives, mothers, grandmothers, so by the interaction of the potential husband and relatives, you can make a conclusion about your future relationship.
Age and social status
Want to know how to choose a husband? Pay attention to the difference in age and social status, which has a significant impact on the development of marriage. The worldview and attitude of a person, previous life experience, breadth of horizons, knowledge, acquired skills, established habits, style and lifestyle depend on age, social status.
If you feel that there is a significant difference between you, not only materially, but also socially, culturally, nationally, religiously, then you should not dismiss feelings. Subconsciously, you will constantly feel discomfort, tension, which will appear in relationships through conflict situations. According to psychologists, such differences are very difficult to overcome at the household level..
His attitude to money
An excellent characteristic of a person’s personality is given by his attitude to money and other material resources. Do not be afraid to discuss financial issues with your future husband, money is an important component of a family union, on which the success of a marriage often depends. The ability to calmly negotiate on material issues, to compromise in money matters, shows a psychologically mature person who can be responsible not only for himself, but for all family members.
What is your potential life partner inclined to choose: waste or accumulation? Are you planning a budget or spending spontaneously? How easy is it to waste money? What likes to buy? Is able to earn? What are your plans for the material sphere of life? How does he see the financial side of marriage? After receiving the answer to the questions, you will determine the scale of material values of a person, you can understand what awaits you in marriage with a man.
If the family comes first in the material scale of needs, such a person will always overcome the financial difficulties that have arisen, find a way / opportunity to take care of you and the children, do not choose excuses and laziness, and do not give up even in difficult situations. In other cases, you risk staying on the sidelines in a man’s life, constantly experiencing stress associated with a financial issue.
Life position of the future husband
The similarity of the life positions of the husband and wife is the key to how to choose a husband correctly. If life priorities coincide, you strive for a common goal, for example, a strong family and children, then by joint efforts achieve it much faster. You will always get support, help in marriage. But if you choose the opposite side, then everyone will pull the blanket over himself and the likelihood of discord in the marriage will increase.
Therefore before you say «Yes» on the proposal of a marriage, one must choose a common family goal and discuss future plans with a potential husband. What is he striving for in a career plan? What is your dream? What does he want to do in life? What to achieve? Where is his family and children? What is ready to give up if a situation arises? Answers to questions will help you understand the life position of the future chosen one, his goals, desires, priorities.
How not to make a mistake in choosing a husband
How to choose a husband and not make a mistake? Be sure to pay attention to bad habits and addictions. If a lover abuses alcohol, drugs, then this is a bad candidate for the role of future husband. It is difficult to get rid of bad habits even if a person wants and the support of all family members, so you should not risk the future, binding yourself with obligations with such a man.
When choosing a husband, pay attention to his relationship with others. The manifestation of impulsiveness, causeless aggression and rudeness are bad personality traits for the candidacy of the future husband. In family life, no one is safe from conflict situations, as a result of which aggression can be turned on you, you and your children can be psychologically (physically) affected by violence.
The most important indicator «qualities» husband - faithfulness to his wife. According to divorce statistics, one of the reasons for divorce is adultery. Therefore, if you notice in a potential chosen one all the signs of a womanizer, then this is an excellent occasion to take a timeout in a relationship, to think about the right choice. Since if at the stage of falling in love and the candy-bouquet period your future husband cannot choose fidelity or betrayal, then in the family union you will be saddened by endless love affairs.
How does he feel about children
Be sure to pay attention to how the future life partner relates to children. Find out his attitude by discussing with the chosen one the number and methods of their upbringing, observe how he relates to other people's children, for example, nephews or nieces. Invite a boyfriend to relatives or friends who have a child, pay attention to how he communicates, finds a common language, plays, tries to establish relationships.
If the chosen one has no experience in communicating with children, he does not know how to get along with them, then this is not a reason to put an end to relations. The main thing is whether he has a desire to communicate with the child, whether he is trying to establish and establish a relationship. In case of difficulties, help him, tell me, advise or just be near, then everything will work out, in your relationship there will be another point of contact that will lead to a happy marriage.
The similarity of interests, hobbies and characters
According to psychologists, harmonious marriage unions are created in pairs with similar interests, hobbies and characters. Community in leisure activities unites people, provides lovers the opportunity to spend more time together with each other. What do you and your future husband choose? What is your hobby? Do interests overlap? Answers to questions will tell you how family leisure will be spent in the future, how much time you will spend together.
If you have already chosen a general lesson during which you gain joint experience, develop and share emotional impressions, then in such relationships you will never be bored, the company of the spouse will delight, give a feeling of fullness. If lovers do not have a common activity, then choose it together with the future chosen one.
The search for common interests is an excellent choice of a joint hobby, which provides an opportunity for you to choose different types of activities together, share your impressions, while expanding your horizons. Joint trips to new places, bike rides, videos, martial arts or other sports, pair dances, music and music concerts, theater performances - choose according to your desire. The main thing is that the classes are interesting to you, bring joy and satisfaction to family life.
Sex plays an important role in family relationships. Due to the similarity of sexual temperaments, physical compatibility, lovers enjoy the union not only spiritually, but also physically. Sexual satisfaction makes a person more confident, balanced, pacified. Due to physical compatibility, lovers go through conflict situations more easily, more positively perceive family difficulties encountered in marriage.
Harmonious sex life is the choice of a strong marriage, the foundation on which family relationships are built. Mutual sex drive, an active sex life brings spouses moral and physical satisfaction, smooths out the roughness that has arisen in family life. Sex - an opportunity to demonstrate the full depth of feelings and emotions of lovers, gives partners confidence in mutual love and respect.
About how important sexual harmony is in family relationships, watch the video:
Genetic component of choice
An important role for creating a family is played by the genetic component, on which the health of future children depends. Find out if there are any diseases in the husband’s family that are inherited, did he or his relatives have terminal illnesses? What is your attitude to health? Do they care about a healthy diet, daily routine? Choose sports or not? Answers to questions will show you how responsible and caring the future spouse is..
Women who think about a question «How to choose a husband?», it is important to remember the main thing - the future husband does not have to be perfect, but he must be suitable for you, he is the chosen one for life. When making a positive marriage decision, take your time and carefully consider all the pros and cons of your future spouse. No one is safe from making the wrong choice, but following our advice will help you avoid classic mistakes by choosing a life partner.