- Why men change: the opinion of scientists and psychologists
- How to find out what your husband is cheating on: signs
- How to behave: forgive or leave
- If the husband cheats and does not leave
- Why is a man cheating on his pregnant wife
- Why dream of cheating husband
Almost every woman, entering into a long relationship, faced with male infidelity. The pain that a wife experiences from betrayal of the closest person is difficult to describe in words. It begins to seem that it will never again be possible to rebuild the family hearth, formed by spouses for years. A woman feels exhausted and abandoned. It cannot be said what will happen between partners after a man’s betrayal, but one thing can be stated for sure - nothing will happen again, as before.
Why men change: the opinion of scientists and psychologists
If you have been cheated, it is difficult to maintain a sober mind, but you need to figure out why a man is cheating. This will not only help alleviate at least a little terrible feelings, which fetter and do not allow one to live normally, but will also enable a woman to avoid a similar situation in the future if she cannot stay a couple. There are several reasons why a man is cheating on his spouse or partner.
- Nature. Despite the fact that young people are driven by high feelings, when they decide to start a family and officially register a marriage, you can’t get anywhere by nature. Men are polygamous - it is a fact. The years of evolution have managed to change human behavior in many ways, to turn a creature from a simple mental organization that needs to eat, drink and sleep into a civilized modern person, but many instincts, although hidden, have remained unchanged.
Mostly because of these very instincts, men share the bed with another - they need to assert themselves, to prove that not only their own wife, but also the rest «females of the tribe» ready for sexual contact. Some men avoid cheating due to the efforts of their soulmate, which they do not get tired of loving. This implies the following reason.
- Addiction. It’s worth honestly admitting to yourself that after a few years of relationships, few women watch themselves just as carefully, change their clothes almost every day to constantly surprise the man, they prepare some great dishes not for the holiday, but just as it happened in «candy-bouquet» period. Many not only meet their husband after working in an old dirty robe, but also allow themselves to neglect caring procedures like hair removal.
Perhaps your man has become a victim of addiction. Treason for him served as a way to try something new, to touch a girl who is in search of a partner, so she spends a lot of time on appearance. But you should not think that the reason is only in appearance, although you definitely can’t be lazy to please your man with smooth skin, well-groomed hair and sexy outfits.
- Attitude. A man, in spite of the socially accepted image of a strong, intelligent and cold-blooded earner, can be as sensitive as a woman. Every husband wants to feel loved, so often the partner herself becomes the cause of treason. Remember the last time you told your spouse a compliment: how does he like a new shirt or how handsome he is? Men need to hear admiration from their beloved - this is what makes them feel like themselves..
After many joint years, spouses often reach the point that they are not embarrassed to say unpleasant words to each other, easily offend their soul mate and are offended by themselves. Remember, there is nothing worse than cultivating a man’s guilt that he is doing something wrong, earning little or not being able to satisfy the woman’s needs. This reduces the self-esteem of your partner and can lead to the fact that her husband will raise her side by cheating.
- A responsibility. Regarding young people, they often feel that «did not walk up». If you got married early, then the chance of becoming a victim of treason greatly increases, because some even before their 30s do not know what they want. Immature men, even if they love their spouse, are almost always ready for treason: this is a kind of way to escape from everyday problems, forget about the responsibility that inevitably appears when creating a family.
- Sexual dissatisfaction. Whatever you say, sexual relations are the most important condition for conjugal happiness. It is known that women do not gravitate to sex as most men do, as a rule, they need it less often and in smaller quantities. If your sexual contacts have been greatly reduced in recent years, you refuse to try something new, to please a man sexually, your partner may turn to adultery to solve the problem of unsatisfied libido.
In order not to lose your lover, learn to show signs of attention: a gentle look, a passionate kiss or an occasional caress - all this can give a man a sense of need. Be sure to show your desire, talk about your preferences, do not avoid bedding topics. If something does not suit you in sex, it’s better to deal with this so that a healthy contact between a man and a woman does not turn into torture: believe me, this will necessarily lead to treason.
Knowing these basic reasons will help a woman understand why a dear person has changed. Then the man’s act, although it will be just as painful, will become justified. A sober view of things will allow a deceived wife to realize that everyone is to blame, and to avoid a similar problem in the future.
How to find out what your husband is cheating on: signs
Intuitively, every woman can feel that the partner has gone to treason, but not everyone is ready to admit it to herself. If you feel something is wrong, your man’s behavior has changed dramatically, there are several ways to understand if this is related to cheating.
- The husband began to move away. Frequent loss of work, extra hours on weekends, constant delays for dinner - these are all classic signs of a man’s infidelity. These signs are so obvious that it can be difficult for a woman to believe what is happening, because no one is preparing in advance for such a betrayal.
- Intentional attention or excessive coldness. When a man cheats, he inevitably feels guilt before his companion. Due to the perfect act, the spouse is uncomfortable next to his half, he is afraid that the wife may convict him or just feel what happened. Men go in several ways: some after adultery begin to be excessively courteous, compliant, attentive, giving gifts to a woman, while others try to move away so as not to give themselves away.
- Clear signs. If a man has managed to behave at ease for a long time, sooner or later the truth opens: the wife may accidentally discover a night sms signed with a female name, traces of lipstick, the smell of other people's spirits.
After a woman learned about a man’s infidelity, everything immediately changes. The colors are fading, it is not clear how to live next to this person and whether it is worth living with him at all, but one thing is certain for sure: something needs to be done. A quick tip: if you have only a few insights and not verified facts, try to find out more about what is happening, so that at the time of a serious conversation you don’t take your spouse by surprise with unreasonable attacks.
How to behave: forgive or leave
So, you know that betrayal certainly was. Usually after such a woman it’s difficult to recover for some time, I want to scream and climb the wall, in the last words call the betrayed spouse, but this is not worth it. The main thing to remember: this terrible pain piercing the heart will certainly pass. Sooner or later, she will calm down, settle down, become almost invisible, and then completely disappear. And although it is not yet clear how to survive the husband’s betrayal, you must constantly repeat this to yourself. All will pass.
After an internal struggle, if you still managed to maintain self-control, a woman should figure out why the betrayal occurred. A cold-blooded awareness of the cause will help you understand how to behave: you don’t need to rush at the man with accusations. The husband knows that he did a terrible thing. It is time to discuss further relations, because you will no longer be able to live like before. It is necessary to determine what to do: forgive or leave? Save the marriage or quit everything?
If you have firmly decided that you can no longer live with a cheated man, you should finally break the relationship. This will allow you to start a new life: for a long time it will ache in your heart, but soon you will notice that waking up alone is easier and easier every day, and less and less you miss in the old evenings. You will have to bear responsibility for this act - you must allow yourself and the man to live on without regard to the joint past..
But what if the husband cheated, but you don’t want to part? Many women are afraid to be left alone, and if a spouse has a baby, it is even more difficult to destroy a family. Separately, it is worth saying that for the sake of a child, you should not live with a person who is no longer nice to you. Children feel great everything, so your child will probably notice the emerging tension. Quarrels of parents will prevent adequate child development, so you need to stay together only when you are ready to continue the relationship and forgive.
If the stage of lies and shortcomings between you has passed, and your lover is a passing passion, discuss with your husband options. In no case do not give a reason to a lying man to think that his betrayal will be forgiven in the future. As they say, what is done once may be the last, but what happened twice should be expected the next time. A few rules to help you answer the question: how to deal with a man’s treason?
- Avoid comparing yourself to a man’s hobby. This will hurt, but will not give a real assessment of your appearance, character, etc..
- Do not condone the man. Yes, you also participated in the fact that treason has occurred, but this step is a deliberate choice of a man. After all, you did not change your husband because he does not give you gifts?
- Be decisive. Tell the man that this is unacceptable. Continue relationships only if they are truly valuable..
- Do not take revenge. Some women prefer to drown out the pain, deciding to do the same thing - treason. This terrible scenario will only bring additional pain and frustration, psychologically make it worse. In addition, another person who is completely innocent of your man’s betrayal will suffer..
- Refuse to solve the problem with alcohol, excessive work, entertainment. Yes, a bottle will help you forget for a short while, working with your head will immerse you in a world of timelessness, and constant entertainment will distract you, but this will not help you survive treason, but only additionally deprive.
The main thing, remember: forgiving, goodbye. If you stayed together, forgive me sincerely, with all my heart, otherwise you will turn life into hell, where every mistake a man will resurrect pictures of what is happening now.
Watch an interesting video where a psychologist gives women advice on how to survive the betrayal of a beloved man:
If the husband cheats and does not leave
There are men who openly mock women, openly committing treason, but without leaving their mistress. These men are manipulators, although they should be called much less pleasant words. The manipulator feels power over a weak woman, unable to resist, depending on the man morally and physically. Sometimes a man achieves such control when the spouse considers the order of things what happens between them.
The worst thing is when children see it: daughters learn to be tolerant of humiliation and treason, sons take into account that girls need to be treated this way, because they have no other example. There is a way out of this situation: to be strong and to run. Take away the children, collect things, file for divorce, because the man who allowed himself such behavior will never change.
Why is a man cheating on his pregnant wife
Cheating on a man to a pregnant wife is not uncommon. Such a betrayal is due to several reasons..
- The lack of a reverent attitude towards a loved one. Every woman who has experienced the hardships and delights of pregnancy, knows that during this period the whole world is enclosed in that small fragile heart that beats inside the abdomen. All the woman’s worries come down to eating properly, do not forget to take vitamins that will help the fetus develop, be less nervous, read books about future motherhood, come up with a name, plan the interior of the room...
But what about a man? A man feels forgotten, abandoned. He cannot fully feel like a father until he sees a child, so he does not experience such strong feelings as a woman. In addition, the spouse will certainly become more demanding: you want to roll in the middle of the night or the mood is not right. The first reason for adultery during pregnancy is a man’s search for a place where he will be paid attention to, will make him feel important and necessary..
- Physiological reasons. It is believed that women during pregnancy are not up to sex, but this is not so. Many expectant mothers are happy to make love with their husbands, and sometimes their libido on the contrary increases. However, the problem is often quite different: men cannot have sex with a pregnant wife. When the third trimester comes and the stomach becomes large, it is psychologically difficult for some spouses to accept their beloved such.
For a woman, the reason may seem offensive, but it’s true: not all men are ready for sex in recent months, therefore they are cheating. If you are worried about the prospect of treason for this reason, talk with your husband, discuss options - together you will definitely find a way out.
Why dream of cheating husband
If you dreamed of a man’s betrayal, there is only one version of what is happening: subconsciously you are waiting for the betrayal and are afraid that this will happen. Such a dream arises from self-doubt, due to internal complexes, fears. Fears are a powerful thing, they can easily be reflected through dreams, but you should not rely on them. Some women are so afraid of a man’s betrayal, having begun to cultivate a grudge even before something happened, which in the end can lead to a betrayal.
Do not give in to your fears, and if you are too worried, have a confidential conversation with a man. The expectation of treason, the fear of losing a man is even worse than the incident itself, which has not yet happened.
I want everything to be like in children's fairy tales - a beautiful prince with a princess, «and they lived happily ever after», but life is more complicated than fairy tales. In it, beautiful princes commit adultery, princesses stop wearing ball gowns, and love needs to be fought. If a man’s betrayal has happened, the past cannot be returned. One thing remains for the woman: to gain strength in order to survive this - together or separately. Because sooner or later everything goes away, any pain subsides, leaving only distant memories.