Almost every woman, entering into long-termrelations, faced with a male betrayal. The pain experienced by the wife of the betrayal of a loved one, it is difficult to describe in words. It begins to seem that I would never be able to rebuild the family home for years The emerging spouses. Woman feels devastated and abandoned. We can not say that there will be between the partners after the betrayal of the men, but one thing is for sure - nothing else will, as before.
Why men cheat: the opinion of scientists and psychologists
If you have changed, it is difficult to keep a sobermind, but to understand why a man changes - need. This not only helps at least a little to ease the terrible feelings that bind and prevent normal live, but also will enable women to avoid a similar situation in the future, if you stay a couple fail. There are several reasons why a man changes his wife or partner.
- Nature. Despite the fact that young people are driven by a high sense of when they decide to start a family and to officially register the marriage, the nature of going anywhere. Men are polygamous - that's a fact. Years of evolution could greatly change human behavior to transform a simple creature with spiritual organizations that need to eat, drink and sleep in a civilized modern person, but many instincts, though hidden, remained unchanged.
Mainly due to these very instincts of menshare a bed with another - they need to assert themselves, to prove that not only my own wife, and other "female tribe" are ready for sexual intercourse. Some men avoid change through the efforts of its second half, which they never tire of loving. This implies the following reason.
- Addictive. It should honestly admit to himself that few women in a few years relations as well take care of themselves, almost every day changing outfits to constantly surprise the man, prepare some delicious food not for the holiday, just as happened in "candy -buketnom "period. Many not only meet her husband after work in the old dirty smock, and allow themselves to neglect caring procedures such as hair removal.
Maybe your man has been the victim of addiction. Treason for it served as a way to try something new, to touch the girl, who was in search of a partner, so a lot of time spent on the appearance. But do not think that the reason is only in appearance, but definitely not lazy to please her man with smooth skin, well-groomed hair and a sexy outfit.
- Attitude. The man in spite of public acceptance of the image of a strong, intelligent and cool-headed miner, may be the same kind of sensitive, as a woman. Every husband wants to feel loved, so very often becomes the cause of partner infidelity. Think back to when you last spoke to her husband compliment as he is a new shirt or something, what it beautiful? Men need to hear admiration from his beloved - this is what gives them a feel.
After many years of joint spouses oftenThey go so far as that does not hesitate to speak to each other unpleasant words, easily hurt and offended mate yourself. Remember, there is nothing worse than a man in the cultivation of a sense of guilt for what he is doing some things wrong, it does not earn much or unable to meet the needs of a woman. This reduces self-esteem and your partner can lead to the fact that her husband will raise the side through infidelity.
- A responsibility. Regarding young people, they often feel that they "do not walk up." If you are married early, the chance of becoming a victim of infidelity is greatly increased, because some of them do not know to his 30 years, what they want. Immature men, even if they love their spouse, almost always ready to commit adultery: a kind of a way to escape from everyday problems and forget about the responsibility that inevitably occurs when you create a family.
- Sexual dissatisfaction. Say what you like, and sexual relations - the most important condition for marital happiness. It is known that women tend not to sex, most men, they tend to need less and in smaller quantities. If your sex greatly reduced in recent years, you refuse to try something new, to please a man sexually, your partner may apply to change to solve the problem of unsatisfied libido.
In order not to lose your lover learnshow signs of attention: gentle look, a passionate kiss or caress random - all this can give a man a sense of being needed. Be sure to show their desire, tell about their preferences, do not avoid the bedding. If you have something do not like sex, better to be examined with this in order to a healthy contact between a man and a woman does not become a torture: believe me, this is sure to change.
Knowing these root causes will help a womanto understand why the way people changed. Then move the men though will be as painful, but it will be justified. A sober look at things will allow cheated wife to realize that everyone is guilty, and to avoid such problems in the future.
How do you know that your husband change: signs
Intuitively, every woman can feel,that partner went for treason, but not everyone is ready to admit himself. If you feel that something was wrong, the behavior of your man has changed dramatically, there are several ways to understand whether this is due to betrayal.
- Husband began to move away. Frequent failure to work extra hours on weekends, constant delays for dinner - all classic signs of male infidelity. These symptoms are so obvious that the woman may be hard to believe in what is happening, because no one in advance does not qualify for such a betrayal.
- Deliberate attention or excessive coldness. When a man changes, inevitably he feels guilt in front of his companion. Because of the perfect deed spouse uncomfortable next to his half, he was afraid that his wife might catch it or just feel what happened. Men are a number of ways: some after infidelity begin to be overly courteous, compliant, attentive, zadarivaya woman gifts, while others - try to pull away, so as not to give himself.
- Clear signs. If a man for a long time been able to behave naturally, sooner or later the truth opens wife may accidentally discover smsku night signed the woman's name, traces of lipstick, the smell of other people's spirits.
After the woman learned about infidelity menIt changes all at once. Colors fade, do not understand how to live with this person and whether to live with him at all, but one thing is for sure: something must be done. A word of advice: if you have only a little guesswork rather than proven facts, try to find out more about what is happening to a serious conversation when not finding a spouse surprise unfounded attacks.
How to behave: to forgive or to part
So, you know, that betrayal was exactly. Usually after such a woman for a while it is difficult to recover, I want to scream and climb the walls, the last words call betrayed spouse, but to do so not worth it. The main thing to remember is this terrible pain, piercing the heart, be sure to take place. Sooner or later, it will calm down, settle down, become almost invisible, and then disappear altogether. And although it is not clear how to survive the betrayal of her husband, it is necessary to constantly repeat themselves. All will pass.
After infighting, if still managedmaintain self-control, a woman must understand why there was a betrayal. The cold-blooded awareness of the causes will help you understand how to behave: do not rush to the man with the charges. Husband knows what went badly. There comes a time to discuss the future relationship, because no longer will live as before. It is necessary to determine what to do: forgive or go? Save marriage or drop everything?
If you have firmly decided that he no longer can livewith a changed man, is completely sever ties. This will start a new life: a long time will schemit in the heart, but soon you will notice that every day wake up one easier and easier, and in the evenings, the onetime miss less. For this act will have to bear responsibility - you have to let yourself and a man to live on without regard for the common past.
But what if the husband has changed, and leaveI do not want? Many women are afraid to be alone, and if the couple had a child, to destroy the family even more difficult. We should also say that we should not live with a man that you no longer sweet for the child. Children will all feel, so your child probably noticed, there was tension. Quarrels parents prevent adequate child development, so you need to stay together only when you are ready to continue the relationship and forgive.
If step lies between you and nedogovorok passed,and a mistress - a fleeting passion, discuss options with her husband. In no case do not let the man vravshemu reason to think that his betrayal will be forgiven in the future. As they say, once made may be the last, but the incident is expected to double in the next time. A few rules to help you answer the question: how to deal with the betrayal of a man?
- Avoid comparing yourself to men passion. This will hurt, but it does not give a realistic assessment of your physical appearance, character, and so forth.
- Does not justify a man. Yes, you, too, took part in the fact that cheating has occurred, but this step - a conscious choice men. After all, you did not change her husband because he does not give you gifts?
- Be firm. Tell the man that is unacceptable. Keep the relationship only if they are really valuable.
- Do not take revenge. Some women choose to numb the pain, daring the same action - change. This terrible scenario will only bring more pain and disappointment, psychologically will make matters worse. Besides suffer another person who does not guilty of betraying your man.
- Discard the solution to the problem of alcohol,excessive work, entertainment. Yes, the bottle will help you to forget for a short time, working with a head dive into the world of timelessness, and constant entertainment to distract, but it does not help to survive infidelity, but only further deprive forces.
The main thing, remember that forgiving, forgiving. If you stay together, forgive sincerely, with all my heart, or you will turn your life into hell, where every mistake a man would be to resurrect the image of what is happening right now.
Watch interesting videos where women psychologist gives advice on how to survive the betrayal of the beloved:
If the husband does not go away and change
There are men who openlymock women, openly committing treason, but without going to his mistress. These men - manipulators, although to call them should be much less pleasant words. Manipulator feels the power of the weak woman, neumeyuschih resist, depending on the men mentally and physically. Sometimes a man achieves such control, when the wife thinks the order of things that takes place between them.
Worst of all, when children see: daughter learn to be tolerant of humiliation and treachery, the sons take into account that and should be treated with the girls, as another example, they do not. Out of this situation is: be strong and run. Pick up children to collect things, to file for divorce, because a man who allowed himself to this behavior will never change.
Why does a man change his pregnant wife
Treason men pregnant wife - not a rarity. This betrayal caused by several reasons.
- The lack of love for the beloved. Every woman who experienced the hardships and delights of pregnancy, know that during this period, the whole world lies in that little fragile heart that beats inside the abdomen. All the concerns of women are reduced to, to eat right, do not forget to take Vitaminka that will serve the development of the fetus, smaller nervous when reading books about the future of motherhood, come up with the name of the plan interior room ...
And what about the man? Man feels forgotten, abandoned. He can not fully feel like a father, until he sees the baby, so do not feel such strong feelings as a woman. In addition, the spouse will certainly be more demanding: want to rolls in the middle of the night or not the mood. The first reason is treason during pregnancy - search for a man of the place where it will pay attention, will feel important and necessary.
- Physiological causes. It is believed that women during pregnancy not to sex, but it is not. Many expectant mothers happy to make love with their husbands, and sometimes the other way around their libido increases. However, the problem often quite different: this man can not have sex with a pregnant wife. When the third trimester begins and stomach becomes large, some spouses psychologically difficult to take your favorite is.
Woman reason may seem offensive, but itthough not all men are willing to have sex in the last months, so the change. If you are concerned about the prospect of treason for this reason, talk to your husband to discuss options - together you are bound to find a way out.
Why dream of cheating husband
If you dreamed of cheating men onlyone version of what is happening: you subconsciously expecting betrayal and fear that it will happen. This dream comes from self-doubt, because of internal complexes, fears. Fear - a powerful thing, they can easily be reflected through dreams, but do not rely on them. Some women are so afraid of treason men began to cultivate hurt before something happened, which ultimately can lead to infidelity.
Do not give in to their fears, and if you are tooworried, spend a confidential talk with the man. Waiting betrayal, fear of losing a man - even worse of the incident, which has not happened yet.
I want everything to be like in the fairy tales -handsome prince with the princess, "and they lived happily ever after," but life is more complicated tales. In her charming prince commit adultery, princess ball gowns are no longer worn, but for the love have to fight. If cheating men happened, the past will not return. Women, one thing remains: to gain strength to see it through - together or separately. Because sooner or later, it all goes away, any pain subsides, leaving only distant memories.