Getting married leads to big changes in your life. Your social status is changing. Most likely, your place of residence will also change: you will move to your husband. Further life will have to be built, taking into account the opinion of new relatives and, first of all, the mother-in-law.
Let's turn to folk wisdom: "An amazing phenomenon when there is understanding between the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law".
Yes, the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law is often very complicated. And what are the reasons for the frequent disagreements?
Of course, asking the question "Who is to blame" is a futile exercise. Both sides are guilty.
The cause of the quarrel may be banal jealousy. The mother-in-law is very sensitive to the fact that her son now pays most of the attention to you and spends with you all day. Whereas she may lack his love and participation.
Solution: more often tell her that she raised a wonderful son; communicate with her, discuss the solution of everyday problems, consult. Husband’s mother will not feel forgotten by everyone and pushed into the background.
One of the reasons is the excessive custody of her son’s mother-in-law, which the daughter-in-law can be perceived as an interference in the life of her family.
Possible solution: take an interest in your husband’s habits; try to learn from your mother-in-law to cook your spouse's favorite dishes. Your mother-in-law will see that you take care of her dear child, and perhaps this conflict will be resolved.
You live with your husband in your mother-in-law’s apartment. There can be a lot of problems..
One of the most common problems is the distribution of household chores.. Possible solution: try to negotiate with your husband's mom about sharing housework. Better if you get any one important thing, and not a bunch of small ones. For example, washing or cleaning. Having learned from the mother-in-law about the procedures adopted in her apartment, and following them when performing the work entrusted to you, you can once and for all get rid of the annoying advice from the outside. Over time, bring something new to your lifestyle. But it’s better to do everything gradually so as not to get a decisive refusal, and not be perceived as a hated invader.
In the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, several rules should be observed:
- Patience, patience and again patience. You are strangers to each other, but you have several unifying moments - these are your husband (son) and your children (grandchildren). On the basis of love for them, you can build a wonderful relationship.
- Genuine participation in each other’s lives. The mother-in-law as a wiser and more experienced woman can really teach a lot to her daughter-in-law. And the daughter-in-law should not dissociate herself from the mother-in-law: try to study her passions and interests, go together to an exhibition or to the shops. The closer you get to each other, the more enjoyable your relationship will be..
- Do not bring your problems with each other on display of the husband (son). The decision may not be in your favor, which will add conflict situations. Try to resolve the problems among themselves. Sometimes for this it will be enough just to listen to the opposite side. Since the vast majority of conflicts arise when opponents simply “think out” for the opposite side and ascribe to them something that they did not commit.
- Learn wisdom based on indulgence and tact. Look for a balance between independence and correctness. However, do not always try to be better than you are. This is a tedious and meaningless exercise., "An unloved sister-in-law doesn’t hold hands like that." , and "The golden daughter-in-law is always from clay" !